I didn’t pretend to be tame
I didn’t want to be
I wasn’t to live forever
Until you made me feel
I should swallow my own fire
And it burnt
And grew and became ever more fierce
Brewing
Growing
I’ll need to exhale it
And when I do
You’ll be near
In the line there in front
But I’ll feel no need to point and aim
Just simply release it
I hope you feel it
After all, I think something profound happened in my heart at dusk in the Winter. And that peace and I celebrate in those moments. And when I feel it, I bask in emptiness.
A sharp sting is sent up my nose, as punishment from my soul for holding back tears. I want to be back where I belong. In bed. In my mother’s arms. In a forest. Underwater.
I am responsible. I cannot cry. But I look at you, Peppa, and although the tears build up in only your eyes, you are the strongest. You look around and wonder how everyone survives limbo- this time between being born and knowing why. Your classmates carelessly throw their arms up, screeching and giggling and throwing foam blocks around the place. But you stand, full of time and worries and the overwhelming need to kick into the air and fly off where you can be free of the rule of human ways.
But, know this. You are already free of human ways. You are beautiful. They may not know how to handle your tears but they will bathe in your pure joy and gifts.
Hello…
…Hi
Ah…
Um, sorry, it’s just that… I don’t know you that well and ah… I feel rather intimidated.
Why don’t we start with something simple. What do you do?
Okay, easy enough. I am a post-graduate from the University of Johannesburg. I studied film and I’m living in Hsinchu, Taiwan now teaching Kindergarten.
I didn’t really want to know that. But I guess that gives me a frame of reference. What I really want to know is… What do you ache for? What will you fill these pages with? What do you dream about? Sell yourself.
I don’t like pressure.
I don’t like being bored.
I know what I ache for (well done on the Oriah Mountain Dreamer reference, by the way). I ache for a justified expression, for recognition, for bravery.
Now we’re getting somewhere.
I will justify my feelings. I will try to bring you as close to me as I can by colouring these pages with beautiful English.
I’m listening.
I dream about liberation. I dream about being fearless, travelling the world, singing, painting, love, a successful career, knowing myself, mastering myself.
‘Write on me, I’m yours,’ said this page.
smallbloomshloo 